Articles Directory | Free Articles | New Articles Daily | Hints on Going through A Memorial service Offered By A ULC Officiant

Your Ad Here

For most of us, as we experience the daily minutiae of our lives, death is an just an abstraction. So, when it happens around us, we are caught unprepared. If you are a reverend, you cannot allow that to occur.

How would you feel if some friend or someone close to you died and you're asked to do the service? Would you turn down that responsibility, just because you're fearful about having not ever performed a funeral before and do not know what to say?

Quite a few years ago, I became aware of this so I started developing funeral and memorial services. I began calling funeral homes, where I discovered, among other things, that the mortuaries have a definite need for offiants to conduct non-denominational services.

The most difficult things for me had been combating the possible fear about my feelings about being around a dead body as well as trying to figure out what I was going to say at the service. Prior to my first funeral service, I had never even been in attendance at a funeral, let alone seen a dead body. First, let me say that a dead body looks a good deal like a wax dummy. Not the least bit scary. It rapidly becomes apparent the spirit has already departed and what remains is merely an empty vessel.

As for the words to say, I shortly discovered that there are not many guidelines out there for funeral ceremonies and virtually nothing available for pastors who wish to perform them. What pastors need are the right words to say, like are available for weddings. I did eventually find one service from a traditional religion along with 1 written by a minister from another non-denominational religion. Neither one was quite the truth I wished to share, but the ceremony gave me a place to start. I then composed a few books which include numerous pages of choices to use for the different separate parts of the service. Those books are ‘Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’ and its sequel. These are available through the Universal Life Church Seminary store.

I begin my services with an opening statement and a welcome and thank you to the guests for coming. Then, I begin to talk about the reason we are gathering – for the celebration of the life of someone they've loved. I invite people to give a spiritual hello to the deceased, while I lead the guests in a prayer. I talk some about living and dying as well as what we’d learned from the deceased in his or her time with us. Following that, I transition into the eulogy. After, I bring far more personalized details I get when I talk to the bereaved before the funeral.

I usually include some biographical information during the starting of the eulogy, which will remind everyone that the departed one was both a member of the family or group and was, an individual. I usually then talk about the importance of telling stories and remembrances about the deceased|stand up and share stories and ask people to say a few words. It's common to have nobody talk at the service, but at times folks will come up if they are invited.

At this part of the ceremony, there is more space for individuality. I get pleasure from singing or leading people in 'Amazing Grace' during funeral services. Not everyone is comfortable initiating this, but there still might be room to have a song, either recorded or sung. Just be sure that the funeral director is aware if a tape or CD needs to be played. They usually already know about this. After the song, there may be a lighting of a candle, reading from the bible or reciting of some poetry The closing is usually a prayer and a benediction.

If the body is going to be interred (buried), then I often go to the graveside (unless I am already there), and read some scripture, the Lord's Prayer, along with the section regarding the interment - (giving the physical remains back to the ground, and so forth.) I don't always conduct the ceremony in that order; I will readily change it, as the circumstances dictate. It's wise to be ready for anything.

I've found that funeral services are a tremendous place to help others, find out about myself and other people better, as well as to heal their grief. The single most essential point to keep in mind when you are conducting the service is that it really is essential that you, as the reverend, reign in your personal emotions. There will be a great deal of people around you sitting in hurt as well as grief. It's not your place to match their emotions. Rather,it’s your job to keep yourself a bit distant and be compassionate, while still being strong, so that the bereaved can lean on you and feel free to express

ULC clergy are not likely to conduct funerals held in churches because the church’s own pastor would likely be asked and would most likely be the one to conduct the ceremony.

REMEMBER that there's no one way to conduct a funeral. The important things to remember are to show reverence for both the deceased and those grieving, to continue the cultural tradition of the way we lay to rest our deceased, to call upon The universal consciousness for comfort and peace throughout this period of sadness and mourning, that reverence of The divine force’s promise of eternal life to those who believe.

The memorial service is intended to help the bereaved more than the the one who died. The minister is there to be the professional, entrusted to carry forth the rites requested to place the departed into the arms of a loving and nurturing God.

It is a good idea to be ready and each officiant really should possess a copy of ‘Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’, as well as its sequel, ‘More Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage’, available through the resource link.